Control: Yours or Mine

About six months ago, I ran across the following image somewhere and our family has been using it regularly. I appreciate the simplicity of this image as a springboard. It is not all encompassing, but it helps provide language around things we feel anxiety from, get angry about and ways we speak to others and ourselves. The question: Is “this” in my circle of control? has been helpful in family, team and interpersonal conversations in all sorts of contexts.

Circle of Control

A couple of talking points I add when using this illustration:

• Just because something is not in our circle of control does not mean we are immune to the impact it has on us. Other people's decisions and actions have an impact and it is right to acknowledge this reality while also determining if there are things we still have control over. 

• We often need help from others to operate in our circle of control. People that we trust can give us perspective, support and guidance when operating in our own circle feels challenging. 

• While we cannot control everything, there are things we are able to influence and we must decide why, when, and how we might choose to influence in those areas.